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Comments
Beware of
the subtle effect of a well-timed comment. A clever exponent of
gamesmanship will have a locker full of little gems that could have you
wishing you’d never taken the game up!
Take the
lady from a well known Hampshire club who followed her opponent’s poor
shot with the comment “Have you ever thought of taking up lessons?”
Comments
can be used to introduce a thought to your head, or reinforce a thought
that’s already there. This is why it’s important not to give your
opponent the opportunity to agree with a negative comment you might be
tempted to make.
You
comment:
“How unlucky was that?!”
Opponent’s response:
“Yes, but you just came up a bit steep in the backswing”.
Intention:
Constructive advice, or destroying your confidence with the suggestion
you have something wrong with your swing?
You
comment:
“Look at that, I’m stuck under the lip of the bunker!”
Opponent’s response:
“If I had your luck I’d go home” or “You’re being so unlucky today.”
Intention:
Sympathy, or an attempt to demoralise, dragging your expectation and
enthusiasm down by encouraging feelings of frustration?
You miss
a putt.
Your opponent might say “Bad luck, you’ve seem to have the twitches
today.”
Intention:
Sympathy,
or suggestion? Is there something wrong with your putting?
You play
a shot:
Your opponent comments “Haven’t you got a lovely swing.”
Intention:
Admiration, or distraction by changing the swing from a subconscious to
a conscious activity?
You play
a shot:
Your opponent comments “Great shot, but I wouldn’t have tried that.”
Intention:
A compliment, or to put doubt into your mind over shot selection?
An
opponent’s comment might appear to be complimentary, sympathetic or
kind. But be careful, it is so easy to distract the mind or to
suggest/reinforce a negative thought! It’s also known as misdirection.
Commenting on an opponent’s game
This is
something you should avoid. It is not your place to pass comment on your
opponent’s game,
offer opinions or advice
(some
situations can attract penalty strokes). The danger of offering
well-meaning advice is a loss of focus on your own game.
Even if you feel sorry for your playing partner you must not
relax your focus.
Keep your advice for
after the match if you feel obliged to give it.
Aggressive comments
There are
of course those who won’t beat around the bush.
Take a
situation that happened when one fellow was bouncing a ball on his
putter while the other guy was putting. Comment: “If you do that
again I’ll shove that ball up you’re a*se!!!”
Was the
first fellow trying to distract, or was the second guy trying to
intimidate his opponent with outright aggression because he was loosing?
Be mindful of your actions to avoid inviting an aggressive comment.
“What
handicap are you playing off??!!”
or “I can’t believe your luck!!” How often do we hear these
comments?
Aggressive comments indicate stress. When stressed, the guilty party
could have lost focus or might be psyching up. Do not be intimidated by
such behaviour, simply take comfort from the fact your opponent’s
mind
has
been derailed and enjoy the advantage you now have.
Attitude
towards Juniors
Junior
golfers sometimes experience a less than friendly environment when
competing against players more senior in their years.
A unusual
relationship exists between junior golfers and....
well almost all other sectors of the golfing community. Many reasons may
exist for this situation, so it’s worth trying to understand the various
roots of the problem in order to deal with them.
Sad as it
may be, the game of golf is infected with a peculiar social structure
called ‘the pecking order’ – a
hierarchy
that
provides relatively ordinary people with the mistaken belief of elevated
importance. Unfortunately, junior golfers are most likely to be affected
by this jealously guarded system.
The
Pecking Order explained
For
various reasons some adults simply have no time for young players. It
must be said that this is a somewhat stupid attitude as the very
survival of the game relies on a constant influx of younger generations.
In reality, a high percentage of junior golfers are more talented than
their elders, which in itself can create an environment of resentment
and frustration. Some adult golfers regard being beaten by a junior as a
highly embarrassing event, so find it satisfying to exclude
or criticise
them at every opportunity. In order to overcome such prejudice it is
essential for the junior golfer to project an image to which other club
members can adhere.
To be
fair, some junior golfers don’t help themselves by exhibiting a lack of
respect towards the establishment – a reluctance to conform to rules and
etiquette. Whilst one might argue this to be perfectly natural in the
process of growing up (where a junior has difficulty adjusting to the
adult world, believing that rules exist for everybody else) it must be
pointed out that a certain standard of behaviour is expected and
necessary in the golfing world. It should be remembered that golf clubs
and courses are places created by adults for the purpose of sport and
recreation and are governed by rules and regulations of an ancient
institution. By showing respect, young golfers can do much to promote
their cause and gain the admiration of their critics.
There are
two things to consider:
-
Do not
spoil the sport you clearly love. Remember that rules are usually
there for a good reason, so respect them. By showing respect you will
provide no reason for people to get on your case. In time you will
earn the admiration of others. Remember, wherever you go and whatever
you do you are representing junior golf and your club. Your behaviour
will affect how people view and respond to your age group.
-
If you
receive a less than warm reception from anybody (providing you give no
grounds) you might simply have to accept that grumpy bigoted people
exist. Sad as it may be, just pass them by. Do not be rude (don’t play
their game) and don’t let them put you off. Grumpy people are often
looking for a reaction, so being met with a calm and pleasant response
can effectively disarm and sometimes frustrate them.
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